Slower Service

Dearest You,

If you know me, especially in person, you may know that I almost always have multiple jobs, am a bright and shiny extrovert, and am very very social. My energy is what most people know about me…especially if you met me in the dance world.

I love my love of humans and connection. But I’m exhausted. I love have different jobs and interests and streams of income. But, I’m exhausted. I like being the person who is always GAME, but, I’m exhausted. So, who am I have if I continue to crave a calmer existence when I leave my current limbo phase???

I’ve realized that many of the above traits are indeed inherent to me. I am totally naturally a connecter and extrovert with many ideas about how I want to spend my days. I’ve also realized that some of the above traits are coping mechanisms for lack of self-worth.

Somewhere along the way, likely in childhood, I absorbed the idea that I am most valuable when I am serving others. A an inherent and beautiful skill…that got totally hijacked by family, friends, jobs, and myself…so, it turned ugly.

Service to others is my WANT. And I’m really good at it! But when my brains tells me it’s a MUST, otherwise I’ll be a horrible person….we hit a serious problem.

So for much of my life I’ve coasted along at breakneck speed getting pats on the head for being soooo good at serving and I never pause to ask myself what or who I really am. Why would I? I love the praise from others! When I stop I don’t get praise, I feel sad. So you know what I mean?

I want to be of service to others but I want to do it in the most impactful way possible. i want super high quality and deep impact to come from the work I do!

New goal: quality over quantity. It’ll be better for me and WAY better for those I love serving.

With Love, From Me

D