It’s not about Joy, It’s about Everything

Dearest You,

I’ve recently experienced loss and am deeply grieving family that have passed away. I’m so sad and I cannot ignore it. It’s a sadness for my family, a grief for those left behind, and an undoing of hope that I will have more time with this people that are gone. I’d like to feel joyful about the time I had with these family members, but I don’t think that the joy band-aid belongs here. I hate the joy band-aid.

If you are a recovering people-pleaser, like me, you’ll know the joy band-aid. You slap it on because the pain is too icky to look at. Not only do you not want to see the wound, but you also fear that you’ll bring other people down if they see the wound. Actually, I bet you know that your wound needs air to heal but you cover it up so it doesn’t gross anyone else out and remind them of their wounds. How ridiculous.

No more joy-band-aids! I say let’s fester and heal and breathe out in the open. No more pretending to be fine. I plan to still take alone, but I will do it proudly - which is terrifying because even taking up space ALONE is taking up visible space.

Cheer to open wounds and staying visible. No fake joy and no shitty band-aids. It’s not brave to cover-up for others. I think I’ll let everything show.

With Love, From Me

D